“You don’t show others how great I am through your words,”
God told me earlier in the day, amongst a variety of other things. I had no
clue what that meant and forgot about it for the rest of the day, until I was
called out that night.
I’ve known that there were things holding me back from my
relationship with Christ, but had no clue what they were specifically. I had
been doing fine in my Spanish classes, but had a hard time concentrating during
my Bible classes. I also felt a tension with the director of the GAP program,
and had no clue why. Because of some circumstances, she asked me to speak with
her one-on-one and told me that I have been disrespecting her by constantly questioning
her authority. I was confused for a moment, but then it clicked. It’s
definitely something that I have been struggling with my entire life. I was
always seen as a “good kid” and therefore could get away with a lot of little
things. They might have not been big and they might not have affected much, but
they affected my heart. I feel entitled to certain rights and have a hard time
complying with rules when I don’t feel the need for them. I also don’t think
before I speak, which has gotten me into a lot of trouble in the past.
Unfortunately, all of that has spilled over into my relationship
with Christ. I feel entitled to “feel” His presence every day, I question when
He asks me to do something, and I can talk to Him forever without listening to
Him first. “… How long will you refuse to humble yourself before me?” stuck out
when I was reading the Bible just yesterday (Exodus 10:3). This update is
really more of a big prayer request. Please be praying for me as I learn how to
become humble wherever I am, whether it be at school, at home, at the
ministries, or with God.
God, please
forgive me. Give me the strength to submit. Help my cry not be driven by guilt
or desire of acceptance, but help me change because I want to become more like
Christ and shed myself of this sinful mindset.
Prayer Requests:
That I become humble.
Still be praying for a replacement Spanish teacher!
That God will reveal to me the specific ministry that He
wants me to pursue.
Problems with DR Education:
I learned this week that thinking for oneself is not taught
here in the Dominican Republic. They dumb down the information so much; things
as simple as word problems are nonexistent. The public schools are not teaching
anything, and they do not look for qualifications when they hire. The teachers
give students so many “naps” or “recess times” that out of a full day, they
have at most three hours of teaching. And during those hours, the kids are not
motivated to learn, and the teachers are not motivated to teach. At the Lily
House (the place where prostitutes come off the street to learn trades and
learn about God), the missionaries also teach the women how to make decisions.
They’ll start with assigning chores for the women to do at certain times. Then,
they’ll do things like give more freedom and tell them to do certain chores
sometime within the day, which can be hard for some to do. They’ve never had to
make decisions like that before. Be grateful that we have grown up to learn how
to make decisions for our own, and be praying for the Lily House ministry as
well.
