Weeks 22 and 23

“Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant – not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.”

2 Corinthians 3:4-6

It’s so easy for me to rely on my own strength. I get down on myself so easily when something goes wrong. My mind has been out of it recently regarding Spanish and I’ve had a lot on my mind. My heart is heavy, like I’m doing the wrong thing or I will eventually do the wrong thing.

By nature, I am a worry-wart. By nature, I obsess over the wrong things. Yet, in spite of those weaknesses, God still uses me. I am competent through Him and His grace alone. These verses have been so vital to me these past couple of weeks. I really have experienced the power of Scripture memorization, as numerous times I have seen myself relying on my own strength and the Holy Spirit has brought to mind this passage of Scripture. When I felt like I translated terribly, when I realize that I didn’t reach out to that person as well as I could, when I see myself pouring out my issues and worries to people, I can rest in the Grace of God. Although I don´t deserve it, He still uses my weak testimony and translation, He still uses my reaching out to make someone feel welcome, He continues to grow me and let others become a part of that painful, yet fulfilling process. I can be confident that I am competent through Him. No matter where I am and what I do, He can still use me.

If we focus on our sin too much, we become discouraged. If we say ´´I´m not gonna do it,´´ we won´t get too far. If we, rather, focus on Christ and the power that God gives us as believers, we will start to not desire to sin. God´s love is greater than the law. Romans 7:24-25 says ´´What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!´´ For Paul to be able to confidently say those two sentences side-by-side, we definitely can tell how powerful grace truly is.

Praises:

-          My parents enjoyed the time that they were down here in the DR, and it was awesome to show them what I do every day!

-          I was able to go on a host home this past weekend with a beautiful family in the Capital. They treated me like a part of their family, and I was definitely blessed and refreshed that weekend, after being stressed out the week before. God knows what we need, when we need it!

Prayer Requests:

-          One of the GAP students had to return to the States just yesterday because of a bad spider bite. She is getting medical attention right now, but it seems pretty serious; please pray that her treatment and recovery will be fast!

-          From March 1^st (This Tuesday) to March 6^th we will be going to the North side of the island in the mountains to do some ministry there. Please pray that as the Gospel is shared, that the Holy Spirit will tug on both adults and children’s hearts to follow the Lord.

-          Sickness is going around here in the DR. I’m getting sick now and a lot of other people are sick as well. Please pray that it heals before our mission trip on Tuesday.

-          Also, the level of spiritual warfare has been high here. Please pray that we are guided by the Truth, and that Satan will not get a hold of us.

Week 21: Personal Reflection

I never realized how much baggage one can carry without even realizing it. It’s super easy to go through life without a blink of an eye of why you’re doing the things you do. I’ve recently been going through some super tough stuff, coming to a realization on some of those things. Unfortunately, I can’t really explain quite what’s going on, but know that God is revealing to me a lot and that only through the Lord am I making small steps closer to the way that He would like for me to live. The only way I came to that initial realization, though, was through the Spirit revealing it to me when I was reflecting and processing.

Lamentations 3:40 says “Let us test and examine our ways, and return to the Lord!” If we go about our whole life and not reflect on what we’ve done or accomplished, how can we grow? How can we change? It’s so easy to go down the wrong path; what happens if we veer off without even realizing it because we’re too focused on other things? We could go about life and do everything right, say all the right things, and if we do not know what our purpose was for it all, what did we truly even accomplish?

I cannot stress how important it is to be aware of what’s going on with yourself. Only when you are aware can you be convicted, and when you are convicted, then you can make a true change in your life and in the life of others.

Being aware means taking everything in and processing. One day, some friends and I went to the beach to see the stars, and I became amazed and in awe at how powerful and wonderful God is. I watched my one friend look for some glow-in-the-dark algae, my other friend try to make a hat with one of the palm branches, another friend listening to music, one friend looking at the stars, and me, just sitting there being thankful by how we can all be enjoying God’s creation in different ways. It was seriously a taste of Heaven on Earth. And then to continue that, my roommate got baptized in the ocean today as a sign of obedience to the Father. It was such a beautiful moment as well, as friends and family were gathered together to share in her excitement.

She shared the importance of the Gospel with us right before she got baptized and yet once again, I am amazed by the power of the Gospel. I know that I have tried to act perfect and do things right, but I do struggle. And that’s okay. And “as it is written, There is none righteous, no not one” (Romans 3:10). Ultimately, we cannot get to any type of Heaven by ourselves. Although we are sinners, Christ already paid the price for our sinful actions. Because of that, we have the ability to reunite with God the way it should be and be seen as righteous in His eyes, not because of what we have done, but because He loves us. If we realize that Jesus is God, that He died on the cross and rose again three days later, and are convicted of our sin and want to be reunited with Him again, we can do so through repentance and trust in Him. It’s such beautiful news, yet how often do we share it? If we truly reflect on our personal life, how many of us actually live like the Gospel exists?

Sometimes I think about the kids I see in the DR with a lot less stuff that I have, and yet they are content. It’s not that I’m better than them because I have more, or that they’re better than me because they can be joyful with little, but that we are both the same level because we have the same love for Jesus and love for what He’s done for us. Reflecting on that and on what Christ has done makes all the difference.

Praises:

-My parents are still here with us in the DR, and it’s been a fantastic time of growth for both them and us

-I now rarely have to think about my medical recovery in the states!

Prayer Requests:

-I have recently been just getting by with my classes, but now want to dig deeper into Spanish a lot more. Pray that God gives me the motivation to do some extra work and enjoy myself in the process.

-Pray for wisdom on where to spend my time and for a discerning heart on how to speak Truth into people’s lives. 

Week 20: Transition Time!

Side note: I feel like a writer right now. The darkness of the night with a couple of Christmas lights and some soothing music in our room is calming my soul. The crumbling of the snacks being eaten and the traditional roommate banter is soothing to my ears. I’m at peace, and I’m ready to write.

To be honest, I feel like I haven’t even left. I’ve only been here for a week since recovery, yet it seems like I’ve known these people and lived here for my whole life. Usually with these updates, I tend to have a theme and try to encourage people by what I’m learning. Instead of that, I thought you would all like to hear some stories from my host home this weekend in my ministry site, San Jose.

Friday Night: I got to be a part of a church meeting where the members went to someone’s house and just went around, praising God for the week and sharing encouragement for everyone. As we were walking back, it was nighttime, and we saw a group of people crowded together, learning that two men had gotten into a pretty bad fight. The man was taken to a church medical clinic right next to where I was staying. As the man was trying to get help (or the lack thereof of him wanting the help), I was curiously looking through the window trying to see what was happening. All I heard was some screams. I would try to explain the entire situation myself, but I think that the Church Planter of the area would explain it better than me.

“Just had our first attempted murder patient in the clinic. An irate and badly beaten drunk who had received more than 8 stab wounds and many lacerations to the head and face before people were able to get the other guy off of him. It was one of the more gruesome things I have seen and although we were trying to get the bleeding stopped and wounds packed with gauze he become violent and 4 men weren’t able to hold him down. His brother took off with him…. so we will see how it turns out, the amount of blood loss and one of the stab wounds to the top of the head has me anxious. ‪#‎cnj343 ‪#‎villagemedicalclinic ‪#‎WeAintInAmericaAnymore”

They eventually went to the clinic, and he got help but showed off his “battle scars” the next day as something to be proud of, rather than as a lesson to learn. Pray that this man, nick-named “The Cemetery” (El Cemetario) comes to know Christ.

Saturday: I went to the house of the teacher that I work with in the preschool on Mondays. I was able to play with one of the little kids that lived around the area for most of the time, watch the whole process of a live chicken being turned into the type of raw meat we buy in the grocery stores, go to the Colmado (a tiny store) by myself, receive some clothes from a man who was selling them off the back of his truck, and got to go to the Church in the area (absolutely fantastic church, by the way!).

Sunday: We had a birthday celebration for one of the missionary families that will be returning to the States in just a week. I loved talking with the missionary kids and getting to know the missionary families a bit better. I then went to the house of one of the girls that is in our Bible Study; I got to get to know her a LOT better (which I’ve been trying to do for a while), try out some Dominican food for the first time, and try chicken liver? Never knew that people ate those, and after trying one, I still don’t know how I feel about it. The host family and I had some fantastic late night conversations. By the end of the weekend, I felt like a part of their family.

I’ve very thankful for this place and for all the people in it.

Praises:

-One of the missionaries here just had her first baby a couple of days ago, and he’s happy and healthy!

-It only took me about three days until I was able to settle in and find a groove here in the DR. Praise God that I’m not too exhausted!

-I’ve been struggling and finally got some clarity on some situations in my life; thank God that He reveals things to us in HIS timing!

-Recovery-wise, people here have been really understanding.

Prayer Requests:

-This past week, we had Hermeneutics class with a Church Planter from San Jose. His class was SUPER convicting; please pray for everyone, that we don’t take the Bible out of context and that we all can teach others to be self-feeding Christians, ones that know how to study and interpret the Bible.

-This weekend is Parent’s weekend. My parents, along with others, will be coming to the DR to see what we do, get to experience some of the ministries and do some mission projects themselves! Pray for safe flights and that not only will the families enjoy seeing their kids again, but that they will also learn a lot from the experience.

Weeks 16, 17, 18, 19: Where have I been?

It's hard to see your friends posting pictures and sharing with you what they’re doing in the DR while you’re not there. It’s hard living in one place, but having your heart be in another. It’s easy for me to think that I’ve missed too much in the DR for me to be able to go back, that people have already forgotten about me. It’s hard when you’re asking God why He wants you to miss out serving and learning in the place you seem to love the most.

Because of medical reasons, I’ve been in the States for the past month. Let me tell you how hard it is for an extrovert to be home-bound for three or so weeks! My biggest adventures included going to church (which I probably shouldn’t have done, medically-speaking) and to doctor’s appointments in Philly. It was definitely a hard time for me. Something my very wise roommate reminded me of, is that wherever I am, I should be all there. That became my theme for this month. Knowing that I could not do much, all I really could do was recover and just grow. Here are some things that I learned during this time.

1.      Spanish soap operas are super addictive: I know how easy it is to forget what you’ve learned, and because of that, I wanted to make sure to keep up on my Spanish. The longer I’m away from the language, the more I miss it. I tell my family that I have to have at least an hour and a half of Spanish TV a day as a part of my studiesJ. A huge praise is that I don’t need the subtitles anymore to know what the people are saying! In addition to that, I’ve also been messaging multiple Spanish friends and have been doing some homework online with one of my Spanish teachers to keep up.

2.      I’ve learned how to appreciate the little things in life: Because of medical reasons, I was prohibited from doing things like driving, bending over, and sitting. I did not realize how much we take sitting for granted! And who knew that such a thing as being able to tie your own shoes at eighteen years old could be a reason to celebrate? I definitely have gained a lot in that regard, and it’s just another reason to be grateful for all that I have.

3.      I have fantastic friends: The support I’ve gotten, whether it be online, Skype calls, surprise gifts, and visits have been overwhelming. The excitement I’ve seen from my friends, either wondering why I’m still in the States, or excited that I’m coming back to the DR has been fantastic as well. Everyone who has randomly checked up on me and asked how they can pray for me… thank you. You have no idea how much you mean to me.

4.      God can use you wherever you are: I always knew that intellectually, but not by heart. Through being at home, I’ve been able to do things and be there for people that I wouldn’t have originally been able to be there for. I’ve been able to pray for people without a time limit and restore some relationships.  Being able to help my family and get to know them better has been hard, yet fulfilling. Thank God for all that He has done in my life, and all that He lets me do for His kingdom!

Wherever you are, be all there. That’s definitely a new favorite phrase.

Praises:

-        - I will be able to return to the Dominican this Monday, February 1^st! Praise God!

-        -  I just finished my Bible reading challenge. I challenged myself to read the Bible all the way through by the end of the GAP year. I started September 9^th and finished January 20^th. I had a couple of weeks where I was struggling, so I am thankful to God that He gave me the strength to endure! I definitely learned a lot!

-          -I can now drive, sit, bend, and exercise!

Prayer Requests:

-          -Please pray for safety for me as I fly out to the DR on Monday and that I won’t miss my layover!

-        -  Pray for my transition back to the DR. During my recovery, things like filing papers for an hour or so got me exhausted for the rest of the day. Now I’ll have to get used to 6 hours of classes a day, ministry time, and being on the go both mentally and physically. I’ll definitely need to rely on Him for strength, so prayers would be much appreciated.

-        - Please pray for the rest of the GAP family and all of their individual journeys!

Week 15: 1st Semester Reflection

I cannot believe that I’ve been living in the Dominican Republic for about four months already! It seems like time has flew by, but also it seems like I’ve been here forever. I am super excited about going home to be with my friends and family for two weeks, but that’s pretty much it. Friends and well, food. You see where my priorities lie :) 

I have definitely learned a lot while being here in the DR. This place is really home to me now, and I don’t want to leave it. If all my friends and family (and Chick-Fil-A) moved down to the DR with me, I would never miss the States. But for now, as classes have finished and studying for finals have started, I have somewhat procrastinated on the latter and have really been enjoying every moment here. I woke up this morning so thankful and grateful: for the family at SCORE, the family at GAP, this culture, and for everything about this place. I can’t wait for second semester to start already, and the first one hasn’t even ended!

If I look at myself from the beginning of the GAP year to now, I can definitely tell that I’ve matured and improved. I definitely have matured in my faith (as evidenced by all of my other blog posts), but I also have noticed an improvement in my Spanish. I really love the language, and I’m learning so many new things that I never would’ve learned in just a classroom setting. I had an experience yesterday where a Dominican was talking to a bilingual person to tell me something in Spanish, but I knew exactly what he was saying! The Dominicans are surprised when white people speak Spanish; I think that they are also very thankful that someone would take the time to learn their language. And I am absolutely loving every second of it! A lot of Dominicans speak super fast, and I’m working on that, but for the most part I can understand a lot!

Specifically, this week was really a week to wrap everything up and to relax after being so busy. We attended and served at the annual Christmas party for SCORE. I loved seeing everyone behind the scenes, from drivers to housekeepers to cooks, coming together, looking beautiful, while having fun and just enjoying themselves. Just last night, we also performed a Christmas play through the church. It was an absolutely fantastic night; so many people were involved, and it was fun to see that despite all of the sound issues and power outage concerns beforehand, that the play was still a success. I was privileged to be able to play violin and be a part of it, as well. At the end of the play, the Gospel was given, and very beautifully given, I might add. One thing that I really have been struck with this week is that no matter what language you speak, the Gospel is still the same. The beautiful thing of the Gospel is that it transcends all culture and language barriers. My teacher gave me a big, 500 some page book on the topic of Heaven, and while I am midst of reading it, I sense myself thinking about the topic more and more. I can’t wait until people from all nations and tongues will come and celebrate God together. It’s going to be such a beautiful day, and I feel like I have been and got to experience a little bit of that yesterday. My heart is so full and happy.

Do not be alarmed when I am in the States, and I…

1.      …get confused why no one is playing Latino music on full blast in their car, for everyone else who isn’t in the car to hear.

2.      …complain about the lack of color on our currency.

3.      ...get confused why there are no Spanish subtitles in the movie theater.

4.      …try to start a conversation with someone in Spanish just because they look like they could be from the DR. Or if I get a little close to the Hispanic people speaking Spanish, because I miss hearing people speak the language.

5.      …forget what a simple word, like “chivo,” means in English. (I now know it means goat, but one time I did forget that word in English!)

Prayer Requests:

-Please pray for safe flights home for all the GAP students on Thursday and for a good, restful break for each one of them.

-I am fully funded for my trip (yay!), but some people in the GAP program still need to raise more funds. Please pray that that funds come in so that they can continue on this wonderful journey next semester.

“I’m not sure what to do with myself. I really want to read all of these books, study, and learn so much more about God and my faith, yet I don’t want to miss out on life and being with people. It’s such a struggle to find that balance.”

“You know what? That’s a problem that only happens when you’re saved.”

Faith is not the absence of logic and reason. Faith actually inspires learning. Why do we settle for our normal, hour long church services on Sundays and our 15 minute devotionals that take a Bible verse out of context to make us feel good about ourselves? In doing that, we perfectly ignore the hard, cold truths in Scripture. That assumes that we even “have time” for devotions in the mornings, though. We always have something else to do, somewhere to go, and because of our busyness (and other things), we have deservedly become called the most anti-intellectual people in the history of the church (R.C. Sproul). In a world filled with more and more intelligent gadgets, there are less and less intellectual people. We have forgotten how to love learning and thinking for ourselves.

(2 Peter 1:5-8) “For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Emphasis added)

Knowledge is so important. When is the last time you have thirsted for knowledge about God and His word? Or even more knowledge about the world, about how He made it all? When have you thirsted to gain knowledge to back up your faith so that you can share with others both the hope and the reason for the belief that you have?

We walk around this world so blindly; sometimes we don’t even realize that our so called “Christian” beliefs are influenced by the world around us. America is starting to infuse their tolerance ideals and their politically correct statements into the Church, the people, the body of Christ. And most of the time, we don’t even realize it. The only way we would know is if we studied the Word for ourselves, thought for ourselves, and came to our own conclusions. Unfortunately, not many people take much time to do that anymore. Let’s try something out.

True or False? Christianity is correct and all of the other religions are wrong.

If you cringed a little bit reading that statement above, you have been influenced by our culture that loves to not offend and to be politically correct. It happens to us all, but it makes me personally realize the importance of understanding the true, Christian worldview. Let us fill our minds with things above, not on earthly things.

This week, I’ve been really learning these ideals head-on. Right now, my intellectual mind is on fire, ready to inhale books and discuss deep topics. Our class this week was based on the Christian Worldview and Apologetics, which definitely revealed to me many ways in which my mindset has been influenced by the world. It also was a faith builder, making me realize that my faith is a lot more logical than what other people make it out to be. And it excited me to share my faith with everyone I come into contact with, but also made me realize that I need a lot of practice. I was so blessed this week; it flew by, but I learned a lot.

I hope and pray that everyone reading this now has a great thirst for learning, and desires to learn more about why we believe the things we do. Let us not be held to that label of being anti-intellectual, but rather rise above it and fall in love with God more because of it.

Do not be alarmed when I am in the States, and I…

1.      .. say the word “Ay!” when I am frustrated. It’s not normal, but I just happened to pick it up.

2.      …hiss at you. I’m not trying to be mean or rude; I’m just trying to get your attention.

3.      … start wandering around, trying to find stray dogs to pet on the street. Don’t worry about me; just let me be, and I’ll eventually realize that there’s no stray dogs around.

4.      ….get a little too excited about the fully functioning toilet, and become surprised by the forceful water pressure of the sinks and the showers.

5.      …come to your house and keep my winter coat and snow pants on inside. It’s a little bit warmer in the DR than in the states. Sometimes I get chilly in the upper 70 degree weather here.

Prayer Requests:

-If you all could pray about my last week of class and my midterm in Spanish that is coming up on the 15^th of December, that would be wonderful!

-Also, please pray for my relationships with the people in the GAP program and that I can find my full identity and security in God alone.

-There are numerous GAP students and interns that still need to raise the rest of their money to continue on this wonderful journey with me next semester. Please pray that their money will come in, and if you feel led to give, please feel free to e-mail me, and I’ll let you know how you can help!

Week 12: Time to face the fears

Facing fears is one of the hardest things in the world, but it is so vital to life.

For the past 4 days we have been in Bani, a city about an hour away from the Capital of the DR. We stayed in the pastor’s house the whole time, which was such a wonderful experience. Let me tell you how much I now appreciate the (mostly) reliable plumbing that we have at SCORE Headquarters! Our ministry included working with the pastor, having activities, songs, and testimonies ready whenever needed at the church, and working with a Bilingual School to help teach the students English. Even though we never stopped moving the whole time we were there, it was a really nice time to both relax and stretch myself in my faith. Hearing the Gospel shared multiple times a day was refreshing, and I loved being able to get to know the people of Bani.

My fears were definitely tested this week, and it’s not surprising that God used some of my greatest fears to display His glory. I have a major fear of speaking and playing my violin in public. The first night that we were there, a group of GAP students and I played 10,000 Reasons (in Spanish, of course!), and I was extremely nervous, and did not play as well as I would have liked. Yet God used my playing; after the service, I was able to connect with some of the kids and let them try out the violin. As the days went by, I became more and more comfortable playing in front of people, whether it be the church or a big youth group event Saturday night (300 plus!). During those times, God let me enjoy playing my violin for Him as a fragrant offering. I love that God is not a boring God; He does not want us to be bored and He wants us to be able to glorify Him using every talent that He has given us! I definitely want to invest in using my violin more for worshipping God and somehow preaching the Gospel.

Not only that, but I was also able to use my Spanish more than ever before. I had blindly volunteered to share my testimony this mission trip, in complete Spanish, and as I walked on stage Sunday morning, my hand was shaking and I couldn’t concentrate. No joke, while I was speaking, I thought that my voice was quivering, but I knew that what the words meant were powerful. God is SO wonderful. And when I am weak, it’s an opportunity for God to show His strength (Y cuando soy débil, es una oportunidad para Dios a mostrar su fuerza). I was told later on that it didn’t seem like I was nervous at all; Praise God that He can use a timid person like me for His glory!

I also was given the opportunity to translate my roommate’s testimony from English to Spanish for some of the students at the Bilingual school. I remember last May when I was taking the AP Spanish test, stressing about the tough passages, the rough accents, and the fact that I couldn’t understand a single thing that the recording was saying. And just a couple of days ago, I was stretched to translate! I am still in shock. It’s totally not because of me, though. It had to have been from the Holy Spirit. For it being my first time translating to a group like that, I didn’t make too many mistakes and the testimony was generally understood. Praise God for all that He’s done!

I also confronted someone about something that has been on my heart for a while. I absolutely hate confronting, but I had been praying about it for a while and knew that it was a wise thing to do. And through that conversation, I really was challenged and brought to my knees yet once again. As these different layers, prides, and sins keep getting exposed, I keep realizing how long I was deceived and how much I need God. Thank God for His son, that carried our burdens and took our punishment. Thank you, Jesus for giving us the opportunity to have a relationship with God as close as we can. I can’t wait until everything is fully restored again in Heaven, but for now, I am so grateful for the times that I get to learn more about Him on Earth.

Praises:

-That God calmed my fears about sharing my testimony and playing violin!

-That God gave me rest this past week!

Prayer Requests:

-The awaited Christmas break is just around the corner! I come back home on the 17^th of December and leave again on the 4^th of January. Please pray that as my mind keeps wandering towards home, that I would refocus on all that is happening and what God is doing in my life here in the DR.

-Please continue to pray for wisdom for my friend and I on how to most effectively minister at our ministry site.